As if he didn't have enough problems Mitt Romney lost to Newt Gingrich in the Westminster Dog Show Republican Straw Poll last Tuesday night. The canine's only GOP caucus convened immediately after the crowning of Malachy the Pekingese as best canine in show and rejected Mr. Romney with finality.
As stunning as Malachy's Westminster best in show win was, Romney's loss was far more breathtaking. His triple digit loss stunned and satisfied Republican canines who, before caucusing, had just finished competing in the world famous Westminster show, the 136th. Here's the certified results:
With Westminster Republican dogs of all breeds voting against Mr. Romney, it's his first triple digit defeat in the campaign, thus far. This GOP crowd, after two hours of alternately caucusing and sniffing rear ends, voted unanimously when they put paw to ballot around 11:45 p.m. Tuesday. Soon thereafter, the announcement of "zero for Romney" rang out in the expansive meeting room. Even the gleeful yelping of Dogs Against Romney protesters assembled outside could be heard within the hall.Newt Gingrich 66% 250 votes
Ron Paul 22% 84 "
Rick Santorum 12% 46 "
Mitt Romney 0% 0 "
Let there be no doubt, this indicates that this assemblage of highfalutin Westminster pooches of pooches have not forgiven the infamous 1983 summer family vacation wherein Mr. Romney caged Seamus, the family pooch, to the top of the car for the 12-hour trip.
Mitt tried to get out of the dog house of his own making. Speaking to the yapping and often growling crowd before the balloting, Romney tried again to assure all within sniffing distance that Seamus "enjoyed" the 1983 "experience." He added, off the cuff, that the departed Seamus would have "loved riding on top of our campaign bus as much as our present family dog does." It's likely Mr. Romney now regrets that last phrase; upon hearing that, many caucusers, particularly among the Santorum contingent, had to be restrained by their human assistants.
Mark their barks, these activist canines may be a "hidden weapon" for a non-Romney primary candidate. If so, the results at Westminster point to more success for a candidate named Gingrich, a dog lover and imitator. We'll see. WOOF!