Palin Really Shouldn't Talk While Tea Bagging

I think it would be more surprising if half-term governor, former Republican VP candidate and current Fox News contributor Sarah Palin's speech to her fellow tea baggers didn't contain any lies. Fortunately for those of us battling on the front lines of Freedom Fighting holding together the remnants of the next Revolution!, her speech was full of conspiracy theories and wing nut fables of days gone by.

*Update:

Something else totally Revolutionary inspired and total proof Fox News is the lone defender of freedom. Fox News did not cut away one single time from Patriot Sarah Palin's address to the troops battling on the front lines. Unlike when the President of the United States was historically and unprecedentedly taking questions from the opposition party and FNC dropped it like it was hot, Fox News this time manned the guns and, like a beacon in the night, or a rocket's red glare, kept the eternal flame of freedom burning so all could see. Thank you Fox News and thank God for you!

**Update:

America this is your Revolution! Embrace it, behold it, never forget it!

Met with gleeful applause and rounds of cheering, tea baggers are treated to birtherism galore. Whatever happened to the days of the Commander in Chief has near dictatorial powers? Why didn't we just barricade the doors of this conference center from the outside and keep these people locked in their solace of jizz forever?